Sleepless Nights: Season One
by LE McMurray
Summary: SG1's sleepless nights for the Movie and Season One.
1. Stargate The Movie

Author's Notes:-Thanks to Stonedtoad.

This is a series in no particular order other than when I write them.

I've already posted the ones that have more than one person talking, so I thought I'd put the others up grouped together by series.

* * *

**Sleepless Nights:- Stargate: The Movie **

The clock glared 2:00 in bright red.

What a week. I don't really know how it all happened at the one time. But these things usually all come at the one time.

x

First the thing with Sarah, that was a disaster.

Very smooth Daniel.

Just tell her how you feel and explain how things can't go any further right now.

Yeah right.

How do you tell someone they're smothering you? It's not that I don't care about her, I do. Of course I do. But I just didn't feel comfortable being with her.

It would have been easier smacking myself over the head, less painful for one thing. I'm sure once she's had a few weeks…months…years? she'll not automatically look for something to throw at my head.

x

Next came Nick.

I knew it probably wasn't the best idea to tell him what the lecture I was giving was about but he had wanted to know.

Then he started on about how stupid I was and how I was ruining my career. How I was crazier than he was. I should have just agreed with him, I should have just let him rant on about it.

But no I had to argue back.

It just made my blood boil so much I had to shout back and the next thing I know Nick is yelling at me to leave and never come back.

Abandoned once again by my only living relative.

Damn it hurt, it was like a knife twisting in my chest. But I couldn't think about it, I had to be focused to give the Lecture.

x

The Lecture.

Now there was one of the crowning glories of my life…I never thought I would ever see one room full of people ridiculing me.

How could they not realise how obvious it was. I can see it staring me in the face every time that I just don't understand how they can't see it.

I still can't believe that when I started the room was full and next thing I knew everyone was gone.

Then came the job offer.

How strange was that? The Airforce and the woman, Dr. Langford offering me some sort of job.

The envelope is sitting next to me and I just don't know. Should I take this? She was right I had just lost everything. Hell, I'm sleeping on Robert's couch at the moment. Thank God he was in the country.

It's a job. A paying job at that. I could get some money together and then see what I could do.

Picking up the envelope I peer at it in the gloom. I was taking the job; there was no other option.

I wonder what it is?


	2. Children Of The Gods

Author's Notes:- Thanks to Stonedtoad as always.

Hope you like it.

All comments are welcome.

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**Sleepless Nights: Children Of The Gods**

She can't be gone.

She just can't be.

I can't get it out of my mind. Her eyes glowing as she didn't even recognise me. That wasn't my wife, that wasn't the woman I know and love. That was something else, a parasite holding her hostage.

Oh God I can't think about it but I can barely close my eyes without seeing it.

x

Jack says we'll find her.

I hope so.

I need her; my life is empty without her, I need her.

One year ago I had nothing after that stupid lecture and then came the Stargate and Jack and Abydos.

And Sha're.

x

When I met her we had nothing in common. We didn't even speak the same language but we still managed to communicate.

The first time I kissed her I knew I couldn't be anywhere but with her.

Then she died.

I refused to let that be the end and I did something if I could have thought about it then I would have wondered about my sanity but I couldn't lose her. Not after so short a time, not after I had fallen so in love with her I could barely think. So I risked my own life and took her to the Sarcophagus and brought her back the same way I had been brought back.

x

When Jack left and asked if I would be alright just looking at her smiling at me made me certain I would be. And I was.

The past year was so wonderful and the happiest I have ever been in my life. Suddenly it's gone.

I can still smell her sweet perfume and taste her from the kiss she gave me before I took Jack and the others to the cave.

If only I had followed my first instinct after that kiss and took her somewhere we could be alone I wouldn't be back here.

x

Earth.

I thought I would never see it again and would never have to be here ever again. Abydos became my home so quickly; there was something about it that made me feel like I belonged.

I have NEVER belonged anywhere before but I belonged there and now I am back on this 'alien' planet. I have left my home and I know I won't see it for at least a year, an Abydonian year at that. Even when I find Sha're we'll have to stay here.

x

There is no one here that I can even go and see. Nobody probably even noticed I'd gone that's why I stayed on Abydos because I had people who cared for me. I had a family; friends and I had someone who I love more than my own life.

Once again I'm sleeping on a friends spare bed, well lying here pretending to sleep. It's been a long time since I've slept alone and every so often I've almost fallen asleep, I reach out to hold her but she's not there. My wife is not lying next to me and I have no idea what I'm going to do without her.

Jack is letting me stay until I can find somewhere to stay permanently. I don't know what I would do without him around. We barely knew each other but he has taken me in and is basically helping me survive this.

I know he feels guilty about what has happened to Sha're and Skaara but he shouldn't. If it wasn't for him I would be running in circles without a clue.

Last night when we thought we could rescue them Jack gave me some beers and coupled with my worry that knocked me out.

But now I can't sleep, all I can see is those beautiful eyes I have gazed into so often glow and stare at me cold and hard.


	3. Thor's Hammer

Author's Notes:- Thanks To Stonedtoad for betaing.

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**Sleepless Nights: Thor's Hammer**

It's strange.

I don't know how I feel, though nothing is really new about that. I seem to live on a merry-go-round of bizarre emotions these days.

I destroyed the first chance we've found to save Sha're. I aimed the staff weapon and blasted it. And for what?

For Teal'c.

The man who chose her, who stood and watched as that thing was put into the woman I love. It was the FIRST thing we've found that could free her, could free Skaara too and Jack handed me the staff. At first I stared at him unsure why he was making me do it but now I know why.

It had to be me. Jack knew that if it had been either him or Sam I probably would've hated them and it would have eaten away at me.

x

"You're part of this family now."

Jack's words float through the cool night air as I sit on the couch unable to sleep. I'm once more staying with him. I do have an apartment now though it's full of boxes and pretty much a death trap to try and walk through. I'm pretty sure Jack just didn't want to leave me to brood all night.

Family.

My family is Skaara, Kasuf and Sha're, has been for just over a year. Yet now I find that I am part of something else. For the first time in my life I'm actually connecting with a group of people completely different from me and I have no idea how to handle it.

I remember looking at Teal'c and seeing he was ready to stay there, ready to live there as long as it took for me to find my wife and bring her there to free her. That's when I made the decision and I blasted the Hammer.

Teal'c would do anything to get Sha're back for me and the knowledge of that makes me hopeful.

x

The one thing I did manage to bring back with me from Cimmeria is the knowledge that the host does survive.

Somewhere inside her body Sha're's brilliant mind and gentle soul is still there waiting for me to save her.

And I will.

I have to.


	4. Fire And Water

Author's Notes:- Thanks to Stonedtoad as always.

Hope you enjoy it.

All comments are welcome

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**Sleepless Nights: Fire And Water**

_"Jack, help me. Help me."_

Covered in sweat I stare at the ceiling. It wasn't true; Daniel wasn't dead. He was alive, safe and fast asleep in my spare room.

I know this 'cause I've checked on him three times already.

He was exhausted by the time we walked through the Gate but of course he was dragged to the infirmary.

When Janet suggested he stay there I got a pleading look. I've learned to read Daniel pretty well and I knew he didn't want to be left alone so I talked her into letting me take him home.

She wasn't happy and I don't blame her but what could I do? When Daniel gives me that pleading, puppydog-eyed look I'm toast. He's getting a little too good at that but I wouldn't have him any other way.

x

I sent Carter and Teal'c to get us some food while I brought Daniel here. He was asleep in the car before I even left the base carpark and practically sleepwalked up the stairs. So the three of us sat in my living room just glad to know he was safe.

So now Carter's sleeping on my couch, Teal'c is doing that meditation thing he does and I'm staring at the ceiling.

I still can't believe we thought he was dead.

If Daniel hadn't shouted not to shoot I would have spilled that things guts over the sand for doing that to us.

I still can't get rid of that picture.

It terrifies me that we…I almost lost him.

I've only known Daniel properly for a few months but he is an integral part of my life. Even for those few days that we thought he was dead I fell apart. Okay, a lot of that came from what that…thing did to us but I missed him.

I missed watching as he found something he thought was interesting and I missed listening as he talked about something I really didn't give a damn about. I missed him. Hard to believe just over a year and a half ago I wouldn't stop to even acknowledge his existence. It's odd how things change.

I didn't sleep more than a few hours during it. I tortured myself with what had happened and how the hell I would break the news to Sha're when we found her.

x

Daniel will have to stay here until we find him a new apartment. He wasn't too happy that we shut up his old one; I think he had become quite attached to it. Though his smile was unmistakable when Carter told him what I said in my speech during his memorial service.

_"Jack, help me. Help me."_

Maybe I should check on him again?


End file.
